Real Talk. Getting Real. Getting Personal. Bloggers and other photographers that I follow are always encouraging the real talk to come pouring out. Share something about yourself. Bare it all. Don't be afraid to put yourself out there. The truth is, at least 10 times a day I think of real life things I could write about but then think, I'm not a Mommy Blogger, I'm not supposed to talk about those things even though I'm being encouraged to on what seems to be a daily basis. So, here it is, my very first REAL TALK type post. "They" made me do it! If it does anything at all, I hope it encourages you.
(Disclaimer: this will not be edited perfectly as I'm not even sure what's going to be written yet. I guess that's the point of it being real.)
You might have seen an inspiring quote recently on Instagram...something along the lines of "You are Enough" or "Keep Going" or "Don't Quit" or "You are capable of amazing things". If you haven't seen any just go to my Instagram and scroll through my feed. They will be there. Do I post those quotes because I need to hear them myself or because I want to encourage my followers? It's both. Yesterday was a "bad" day. It's hard for me to say that because I have never been a person who allows myself to openly admit when I'm feeling defeated. If I'm having a bad day I immediately think of people who live with depression or chronic pain or who don't have access to clean water or a roof over their head (http://www.healingwaters.org/). My "bad" day quickly turns into a good day. So I guess what I mean by it being a bad day is it was a not so great day. If you're a Mom of a toddler or any aged child for that matter, you might be able to identify with me on some of the million things that go through your head on a daily basis. Here are just a few...
- I need to play with her more
- I should turn the tv off
- I should hide my phone from myself
- I should stop working so much
- I need to wake up earlier
- She needs more friends
- She needs more baths
- She needs to wear something other than her tie-dye shirt and diaper
- I need to stop giving her so much fruit
- I need to stop giving her so much sugar
- She needs more toys (she is perfectly content with the few that she has)
- We need to go outside more
- I need to stop breastfeeding her
- She would have more friends if we lived closer to family and not on an ISLAND!
Any of that sound familiar? Well, yesterday they were flooding my mind like they do from time to time especially after someone innocently asks "does she have any friends her age"? She's ONE for goodness' sake! Is she supposed to have a group of friends she meets for Sesame Street and coffee every Friday? The truth is, she is HAPPY and she is thriving and that is what matters right now. The last 16 months have been some of the best (and most challenging) of my life. I have been able to be with Willow almost every day. I've seen her grow, learn, laugh, cry and everything in between and I think everything is OK just the way it is. Things aren't always perfect and she does love her PBS shows and sometimes eats veggie sticks and raisins for lunch. One day she will have lots of friends, one day she will be playing sports, one day she will driving away from the house without giving me the huge hugs and kisses she gives me every time she sees me. At this moment in time I think my love is what she needs most and Jon and I give her A LOT of it! Some days it feels like her and my dog/son Benny have conspired against me before I wake up. One is eating the faces off of Noah's Ark animals while the other one draws in my passport with red pen (I won't tell you which one is doing what). I'll take the good days and the not so great days. I will keep going on Pinterest and searching "inspiring quotes" when I need to and I will continue to be so incredibly thankful for the life we live with our gift from above. It is SO EASY to get down on ourselves as Mothers. To think we just aren't good enough and feel guilty about not being good enough. We see the Instagram stories, the snapchats, the Facebook albums and all of the GOOD STUFF and we compare and we compete. It's really not about any of that though. It's about the love. Who can measure that? Nobody! I'll leave you with some photos of our sweet girl from the last year and a half. I made sure to include some REAL ones in there too ;) & one last thing...YOU REALLY ARE ENOUGH! Goodnight! xoxo